attractive football

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, that's mellow.

pafcineurope wrote:

Back to attractive football, I see we have moved up to 17th in the League today on the BBC site, so something is going right!!

Merv Plummer

If we called ourselves AFC Plymouth we would be first in front of Wimbledon.

Czarcasm wrote:

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

Are you on a meter?

Czarcasm wrote:

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

Water butts to collect rainwater for the garden, and when they are really full also for the toilet downstairs.
We save the cold water before the hot arrives - sink/bath/shower - and use that for flushing. Only flush once a day (edit: on short flush) - apart from a dump. We also drink bottled water, but that's only because the tap water comes through a water softner and tastes salty. Without the softner we'd have water coming out in lumps!! We are metered - standard over here.
Air wash clothes - hang 'em up and frebreeze some shirts/t-shirts. Don't need to wash and wear daily. We get 2 or 3 wears out of casual wear that way. Obviously when meeting James Brent and other dignitaries it's best bib and tucker!!

Hope that helps.

Merv Plummer

tonycholwell wrote:

I still not sure why we kept Chadders, he'll be injured most of the season anyway, Parkin eh?

Hmmm, good call, although were back to wages and distance.

Jon Parkin has been signed by Fleetwood (come on Fletch get the large budget out FFS!)

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Maybe Parkin wouldn't move to Plymouth. I don't think many players will so we'll be back in the bottom 2/4/6 * (*delete as appropriate) for most of next season. Attractive football?? I think Brent and Fletcher are having a laugh, you know.

Merv Plummer

Czarcasm wrote:

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

Make them look after any number two's they do like it's a pet. No flushing then, except for your own which you've basically admitted are radio-active. The pets can be kept in tupperware boxes and brought out when you have unwanted visitors.

Whatever vegetable has been consumed prior to the releasing of the number two, sweetcorn, baked beans or peas, invariably end up at one end and give the number two it's face and character.

It will also teach your kids a lifeskill, rather like a Tamagotchi does, but without the annoying beeping or danger of the pet dying and shutting down which can be an awfully upsetting experience for young children.

That's one helluva saving on flushing, and other measures you could take include not allowing anyone to shower or bath more than once a week, and all hygiene issues can be solved by stealing all of the KFC freshen-up sachets on the way to school/work.

Brushing your teeth could be replaced by painting on Tippex, and dry shaving your tongue to get rid of the worst furry bits that remain. Clothes can be beaten with a large stick rather than washed, and this dishevelled look coupled with the lack of teethbrushing, can fool the boss into thinking you have been at work all night, and this could lead to a pay-rise. If your children start to lose any friends because of the lack of personal hygiene, get them to dress all in black because EMO's have no friends anyway. Black also covers up some of the worst stains from the unwashed clothes.

If you really feel that you must wash with water occasionally, I find that taking the whole family out to Pizza Hut and asking for a glass of tap water each before you order, is a cheap alternative if you start a huge family argument which leads to child 1 throwing their glass of water over child 2, Mum shrieks which makes you lose it and throw yours over her, she retaliates, and then child 2 drenches child 1. You must all get up and storm out at this point to save ordering anything.

If this still isn't quite enough water saving, you can start calling at friends houses that you haven't seen for a while, and take it in turns visiting the bathroom. It sometimes pays to return and say "I'd give that one a few minutes", so that they don't go into the bathroom after you have all been, and notice that the floor is wet, so are all the towels, and the shower gel is almost empty.

Another tip is to always carry an empty 2 litre Coke bottle with you, and whilst out shopping in a busy shopping centre, pretend to faint in front of loads of people, and when you "come around" ask for a glass of water. Do this a couple of times and on each occasion, sneakily pour the glass into your empty container.

I have some more ideas, but they are a bit extreme, so I would advise trying these simple ones first and if you still need to save more, PM me and I will explain how to save at least 3 more litres per month, by simply using everyday objects like a herd of goats, a stick of dynamite and an Albanian Traffic Warden's outfit.

Greenjock wrote:

Czarcasm wrote:

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

Make them look after any number two's they do like it's a pet. No flushing then, except for your own which you've basically admitted are radio-active. The pets can be kept in tupperware boxes and brought out when you have unwanted visitors.

Whatever vegetable has been consumed prior to the releasing of the number two, sweetcorn, baked beans or peas, invariably end up at one end and give the number two it's face and character.

It will also teach your kids a lifeskill, rather like a Tamagotchi does, but without the annoying beeping or danger of the pet dying and shutting down which can be an awfully upsetting experience for young children.

That's one helluva saving on flushing, and other measures you could take include not allowing anyone to shower or bath more than once a week, and all hygiene issues can be solved by stealing all of the KFC freshen-up sachets on the way to school/work.

Brushing your teeth could be replaced by painting on Tippex, and dry shaving your tongue to get rid of the worst furry bits that remain. Clothes can be beaten with a large stick rather than washed, and this dishevelled look coupled with the lack of teethbrushing, can fool the boss into thinking you have been at work all night, and this could lead to a pay-rise. If your children start to lose any friends because of the lack of personal hygiene, get them to dress all in black because EMO's have no friends anyway. Black also covers up some of the worst stains from the unwashed clothes.

If you really feel that you must wash with water occasionally, I find that taking the whole family out to Pizza Hut and asking for a glass of tap water each before you order, is a cheap alternative if you start a huge family argument which leads to child 1 throwing their glass of water over child 2, Mum shrieks which makes you lose it and throw yours over her, she retaliates, and then child 2 drenches child 1. You must all get up and storm out at this point to save ordering anything.

If this still isn't quite enough water saving, you can start calling at friends houses that you haven't seen for a while, and take it in turns visiting the bathroom. It sometimes pays to return and say "I'd give that one a few minutes", so that they don't go into the bathroom after you have all been, and notice that the floor is wet, so are all the towels, and the shower gel is almost empty.

Another tip is to always carry an empty 2 litre Coke bottle with you, and whilst out shopping in a busy shopping centre, pretend to faint in front of loads of people, and when you "come around" ask for a glass of water. Do this a couple of times and on each occasion, sneakily pour the glass into your empty container.

I have some more ideas, but they are a bit extreme, so I would advise trying these simple ones first and if you still need to save more, PM me and I will explain how to save at least 3 more litres per month, by simply using everyday objects like a herd of goats, a stick of dynamite and an Albanian Traffic Warden's outfit.

Oh Jocko, Jocko, Jocko. I've had a shit day at work, and that has just cheered me right up.

And yes, I am on a meter, Pete.

My water metred bill is around £40 per quarter. I suggest you get the leak fixed.

Greenjock wrote:

Czarcasm wrote:

I wish I could figure out how I could save money on water. I had a letter from SWW telling me my monthly bill will be rising from £34 to £51 ! Even with my limited mathematical brain, I make that a 50% rise. FIFTY F*CKING PERCENT !!

I'm thinking of imposing a 'three-piss-flush' rule. (number 2's have to be flushed straight away, apart from the youngests', hers don't quite have the full bodied aroma that that I seem to regularly create).

Any other water-saving tips would be most welcome.

Make them look after any number two's they do like it's a pet. No flushing then, except for your own which you've basically admitted are radio-active. The pets can be kept in tupperware boxes and brought out when you have unwanted visitors.

Whatever vegetable has been consumed prior to the releasing of the number two, sweetcorn, baked beans or peas, invariably end up at one end and give the number two it's face and character.

It will also teach your kids a lifeskill, rather like a Tamagotchi does, but without the annoying beeping or danger of the pet dying and shutting down which can be an awfully upsetting experience for young children.

That's one helluva saving on flushing, and other measures you could take include not allowing anyone to shower or bath more than once a week, and all hygiene issues can be solved by stealing all of the KFC freshen-up sachets on the way to school/work.

Brushing your teeth could be replaced by painting on Tippex, and dry shaving your tongue to get rid of the worst furry bits that remain. Clothes can be beaten with a large stick rather than washed, and this dishevelled look coupled with the lack of teethbrushing, can fool the boss into thinking you have been at work all night, and this could lead to a pay-rise. If your children start to lose any friends because of the lack of personal hygiene, get them to dress all in black because EMO's have no friends anyway. Black also covers up some of the worst stains from the unwashed clothes.

If you really feel that you must wash with water occasionally, I find that taking the whole family out to Pizza Hut and asking for a glass of tap water each before you order, is a cheap alternative if you start a huge family argument which leads to child 1 throwing their glass of water over child 2, Mum shrieks which makes you lose it and throw yours over her, she retaliates, and then child 2 drenches child 1. You must all get up and storm out at this point to save ordering anything.

If this still isn't quite enough water saving, you can start calling at friends houses that you haven't seen for a while, and take it in turns visiting the bathroom. It sometimes pays to return and say "I'd give that one a few minutes", so that they don't go into the bathroom after you have all been, and notice that the floor is wet, so are all the towels, and the shower gel is almost empty.

Another tip is to always carry an empty 2 litre Coke bottle with you, and whilst out shopping in a busy shopping centre, pretend to faint in front of loads of people, and when you "come around" ask for a glass of water. Do this a couple of times and on each occasion, sneakily pour the glass into your empty container.

I have some more ideas, but they are a bit extreme, so I would advise trying these simple ones first and if you still need to save more, PM me and I will explain how to save at least 3 more litres per month, by simply using everyday objects like a herd of goats, a stick of dynamite and an Albanian Traffic Warden's outfit.

I know what is involved in that and IF I hear anything about goats being mistreated then I Will report you to the GLFJ (Goat Liberation Front of Jannerland)!

You have been warned.