February comes around

and thoughts turn to the Six Nations.

I love it me, ever since I was a kid and the fecking Welsh used to batter us senseless, it pains me to see the way some coaches and pundits have atarted to look on it as a World Cup development asset, I would far rather beat the Welsh or the Sweaties than some bunch of over hyped South Hemi sheep shaggers.

You echo my thoughts Mr Tisdale and the Six Nations is probably my most favorite of sporting competitions.

Much clichéd but still relevant - rugby will always be a game for bruisers who don't have the talent to play football.

Huzzah, scores of Neanderthals in blazers on pub crawls, doing forfeits like eating knob cheese sandwiches and drinking each others jizz, then turning on the smallest guy in the pub or club and all beating him senseless.

You often see bath players taking turns to stamp on some innocent guys head outside the blue rooms, because he had the cheek to look at them or his girlfriend didnt like them trying to rape her or get her tits out when they asked.

They're all 15+ stone but it always takes at least 8 of them to go and chat up a woman and then kick off when they get turned down.

I can't understand why women blow them out when they're drinking brake fluid and shitting in ashtrays? Surely some bald pissed 7ft tall posh tw@t with no trousers or pants on is everything s woman ever wanted?

I used to love seeing them all shouting feckin poofs at anyone who was allowed in a club while the bouncers wouldn't let them in because being able to eat a pint glass didn't make up for wearing no trousers.

I don't like rugby or rugby players.

I see that £44 priced Twickenham tickets are being sold for £400. Remember when touting was illegal!

I love the 6 nations it's a proper good competition, as for you Jock do you follow football because the fans never shout abuse at anyone, beat anyone up, or is because the rugby players are posh in your eyes? You ought to get down Lanson rugby club you might be surprised, I'll give you a cream cracker to wank on then you'll fit in.

Iggy wrote:

I love the 6 nations it's a proper good competition, as for you Jock do you follow football because the fans never shout abuse at anyone, beat anyone up, or is because the rugby players are posh in your eyes? You ought to get down Lanson rugby club you might be surprised, I'll give you a cream cracker to wank on then you'll fit in.

Some of my mates used to play in Cornwall and much like mates who joined the army, they change into complete tossers when they're with their rugger bumchums.

They go out in large groups looking very smart at the start of the evening in their trousers and blazers, the club tie on, and their first drink is usually a pint of mixed spirits, in one or the others get to set fire to pubic hair. Then they move off around the town and you know where they have been because of the carnage of boken glass and the odd straggler puking in a shop doorway.

You see small geeky blokes wearing glasses lying in puddles of blood every 100 yards or so as they show everyone how hard they are. Soggy cream crackers litter the road they have walked along.

Traffic cones become hats and any unfortunate women are left in tears as 15 gorillas have tried chatting them up by getting their cocks out and waving them in the women's faces.

There's always one lighting his own farts, one eating a pint glass and one pissing in some unsuspecting lads coat pocket in a busy pub. Girls who are not attracted by their cocks being waved around or plopped into their wine glass are slags, or ugly bitches and are liable to have their hair set alight. If there is a boyfriend unfortunate enough to stick up for his woman, he is usually glassed before all 15 stamp on his head and kick him senseless, and it's still early!

Then the fun really starts when they move off to the clubs where there are more women to chat up with a 15 man rendition of "You can tell by the smell that she isn't very well, when the end of the month comes along"

This is where the group starts to splinter into smaller groups, with the odd single rugger chap wandering around with his trousers round his ankles and tie around his head, who tries interrupting couples out having a good time by telling the guy that he wants to feck his girlfriend on the table right now. The guy is then faced with the dilemma of either twatting the annoying cnut then and there, but probably risking the hiding of his life from the rugger chaps mates, or trying to talk sense to someone who has just inflated a condom over his head and pissed over the balcony onto a crowded dancefloor. The wise move of course is to smile, say something like "My girlfriends mate fancies you, I'll go and bring her over" and then feckin off with the missus while he waits and tries making himself look respectable by wiping the sick off of his chin.

One brave soul always decides he's had enough of the tosser pestering his girlfriend and tells him to feck off before he gets hurt and then carnage ensues. Tables, chairs, drinks and bodies get thrown all over the club and one of the rugger apes grabs a fire extinguisher and whacks it over an innocent bystanders head.

This is where the bouncers descend and start trying to untangle the bodies which makes the situation worse as more and more punches and kicks are thrown, until the Police arrive. This is where everything thinks these cnuts are headed for the local nick until it becomes obvious that the rugger wankers are nearly all off-duty coppers. The others are solicitors.

A mass of bloodied young men are then told to leave while the ones who caused all the aggro are allowed to stay and play drinking games.

Two hours later and the rugger lads have drunk each others piss and are all arms around each other, telling each other they feckin love you buddy, before they decide it's time to pick up a kebab and go home.

This is where they push their way to the front of the queue in the kebab place and call the guys behind the counter "feckin p*ki's" or "Ragheads" before leaving without paying and putting a chair through the window.

Without so much as eating a chip, they then head for the taxi rank, push in until an argument starts, and then "recognise" someone who has just been to the cinema and a meal with his wife, as being the cnut who started it all in the club, so it all kicks off again with another group of total strangers who haven't been near the club.

They split into 3 groups now, 2 of them are missing in action, knocking wing mirrors off all the parked cars on their way home, and pile into cabs they have no intention of paying for when they reach their destinations.

The only time anything is different is if one of them is getting married or they have just won the league, so they really go on a mad one.

Apart from this they're alright really.

And that's the local league rugby players in Cornwall.

In Bath it's far, far worse. You have the first XV, the seconds, and the colts all out in different groups and half of the pubs and clubs are owned by current or former Bath players so they can act really badly and get away with it all night.

My first ever night out in Bath was on a quietish Wednesday night and I witnessed about 10 or 12 famous rugby players, Gareth Chilcot was one and a huge black guy who's name escapes me was another, kicking the shit out of a group of 4 or 5 lads who were miding their own business at the bar. Jeremy Guscott was with them but to his credit he did try to calm it all down.

Another time in Bath I was with Kaz and two other couples in a small club owned by a Bath rugby player and there were dozens of these grey trousers and blue blazered incredible hulk sized fuckwits just dying for anyone to ask them to stop their shit or stop touching up random women. A group of about 10 of them who had been at the bar for at least 20 minutes pissing around and throwing drinks over people, came over to where we were sat and told us we were in their seats.

They are dying for a reaction of any kind to have a good ruck, but we just got up and moved 6 ft to the next set of empty seats which they could just as easily have sat in. They would trip over people who tried to walk by and would stop women walking past and rub up against them and all find it hilarious like a bunch of 8 year old giggling girls.

Later that night after going to another club, we saw the group of about 10 of them kicking the shit out of 3 guys who's girlfriends were screaming at the sight of these huge blokes stamping over and over on already unconscious blokes heads. One girl tried to pull a big brute away from her boyfriend and she got a full on puch in the face and went down like a sack of spuds.

There was a Samoan or Fijiian player who came out of the club and stopped it all then but feck knows what damage they had done to almost certainly just couples out having a nice time who had the misfortune to make eye contact or object to the attempted gang rape of their girlfriends.

Wankers of the highest order.

Post of the year so far.Very true Jock.We have two clubs in Exmouth.The Cockles are doing very well too.

Great memories of playing against Exmouth, always shat in a cup and ate it after the match and beat the holy crap out of the barmaid. Happy days.

Fecking hell Jock you do have issues don't you ?

Lord Tisdale wrote:

Fecking hell Jock you do have issues don't you ?

I have issues? You consider that normal behaviour do you?

Rugby players, second only to squaddies in the cnut stakes.

Issues?!

You're going to say next, "Can't you take a joke?"

Greenjock wrote:

I have issues? You consider that normal behaviour do you?

Rugby players, second only to squaddies in the cnut stakes.

"normal behaviour" ?

No, but then neither would any of the hundreds of rugby players I played, toured and socialised with over a couple of decades, if your 'story' was even close to the normal behaviour of rugby players at any level it would be a 10 a side game because the rest would be in prison.

I hate agree with Tis but I can't help it, I was in Brixton in London and I saw a group of about 15 black kids kicking the shit out of a young lad, they started to move away and the lad got to his knees spitting a few teeth on the floor when one of them ran back and stabbed him in the shoulder. Now does that make all black kids violent? Does it mean they all carry knives? It's not the first time I have seen black people being violent and I believe a lot of them take drugs, I read once about somebody stealing cars, he was also black, I have a black mate of mine who also plays Rugby, he's coming straight off my friends list.
Anyway, I can't wait for the six nations to start RRRROOOOAAARRRR!!!!!! Cream cracker anyone?

Greenjock wrote:

Huzzah, scores of Neanderthals in blazers on pub crawls, doing forfeits like eating knob cheese sandwiches and drinking each others jizz, then turning on the smallest guy in the pub or club and all beating him senseless.

You often see bath players taking turns to stamp on some innocent guys head outside the blue rooms, because he had the cheek to look at them or his girlfriend didnt like them trying to rape her or get her tits out when they asked.

They're all 15+ stone but it always takes at least 8 of them to go and chat up a woman and then kick off when they get turned down.

I can't understand why women blow them out when they're drinking brake fluid and shitting in ashtrays? Surely some bald pissed 7ft tall posh tw@t with no trousers or pants on is everything s woman ever wanted?

I used to love seeing them all shouting feckin poofs at anyone who was allowed in a club while the bouncers wouldn't let them in because being able to eat a pint glass didn't make up for wearing no trousers.

I don't like rugby or rugby players.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you..........................Ben Elton !

Think England have a good chance of a Slam, but I don't make us the stand-out favourites after just the one decent game in the Autumn - at the moment the NZ game was the exception rather than the rule. By the 30th minute on Saturday we'll be bemoaning Farrell's lack of creativity, England lack of idea, and we'll win but not convincingly.

The Irish, French and even Welsh will be good tests.

I'm hoping O2 have another priority moments thing on the go and I can snaffle up some last minute tickets

I've been looking for tickets Mock, not a bloody chance! - I'm getting the order in way advance next year!

Mock Cuncher wrote:

Think England have a good chance of a Slam, but I don't make us the stand-out favourites after just the one decent game in the Autumn -

Can't let that pass mock, true we were a tad scrappy but one score defeats to the Bok and the Oz followed by a resounding victory over the Black. That's the three best sides in the world over the last decade and the Autumn Ints are proper development games played just for the money.

The slam is always hard as every dog will have a day but I would have to put us up there as favs with the Kermits. The sheep shaggers and sweaties look a bit off the pace while the bog dwellers are having one of their more enigmatic periods, the wops ? Getting stronger all the time, as long as they keep on finding Argies, Strines and other assorted monsters with eyetie grannies they will become more of a threat.

Manu is a big loss, probably wont matter much agin the Braveheart ensemble even with Dylan 'the tw@' Hartley and Chris 'the tw@' Ashton to fork up the excellent team ethic Lancaster has created, I just hate the fooking pair of them.

GOB wrote:

I've been looking for tickets Mock, not a bloody chance! - I'm getting the order in way advance next year!

Yup, would love to go to Italy-England in Rome next year, that'd be the dream. This year the best I can find unless some last minute deal pops up would be Wales-Ireland this weekend, but that's £85 a pop and getting seats next to each other = pretty imposs.

France beat Australia 33-6 in November so they'll be there or abouts. Every time I think they look good though they lose to Italy or just crumble internally. England's trips to Wales and Ireland are the tough ones, LT. Even with both not being at their best you just know they're frothing at the thought of causing England headaches.

Mock Cuncher wrote:

Yup, would love to go to Italy-England in Rome next year, that'd be the dream.

Certainly used to be a great trip, I remember sitting with a dozen or so lads from Turin who were surrounded by thousands of Englanders in the Flaminio, they were a bit down as their team was taking a bit of a beating, they brightened up when it became obvious we were about to make some substitutions and they thought that maybe things might get a bit easier, then on came Jason Leonard, Matt Dawson, Dallaglio and Johnno.

Not sure if I would fancy the Olimpico, just wouldn't be the same, also the 'types' attending nowadays aren't like they were back in the day, women, wtf is that all about ?

I like the six nations rugby, world title boxing, football, plymouth argyle, french jazz, and cracking one off, you can poke your real ale though

Sufferedsince68 wrote:

I like the six nations rugby, world title boxing, football, plymouth argyle, french jazz, and cracking one off, you can poke your real ale though

There I was thinking I had found a soul mate among the heathens, then this, "you can poke your real ale though".

Sufferedsince68 wrote:

I like the six nations rugby, world title boxing, football, plymouth argyle, french jazz, and cracking one off, you can poke your real ale though

Actually, I'm not adverse to a touch of french jazz (in conjunction with cracking one off of course) if the mood is right. You poke your six nations as well as your real ale though!

Twelvetrees at centre. Can't argue too much with that - no stand outs in midfield behind Tuilagu tbf.

Any Chiefs players any good LT? Was surprised to see TJohnson picked in the back row against the Saffers, but didn't disgrace himself.. The Chiefs are certainly a top half Prem side at the moment, surely it can't all be down to Argentinians?