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Chingers

Chingers

Posts : 577
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 48
Location : Chingford

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PostSubject: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 3:38 pm

Those of you familiar with my Colin stories on the other site will need no reminding of the fact that he’s a bit of a loon. For everyone else, well, he’s a bit of a loon.

My mum and step dad came up on Wednesday afternoon to stay until Sunday. Thursday morning 4.30am they are in the back bedroom and are awoken by the sound of Colin trying to get his dog, Tyson, back into the house. Now a normal person would put on some shoes and go get the dog quietly, but we’re talking about Colin here.
According to my parents he stood for a good 30 minutes calling the dog every name under the sun and for one reason or another Tyson did not want to go back into that house.
Eventually “Ty Ty” made a bolt for it, under the fence and into our garden (I really must sort that out). So now Colin is a bit stuffed and shouts up to his son Craig who’s asleep (like most of the neighbours were 30 minutes previous). “Craig come and sort your f*****g dog out” or words to that effect.
Craig then does his usual climb over the fence (I really must sort that out) into our garden and manages to catch Tyson within about 20 seconds. Now, the obvious things to do is go to my gate, open it, bring the dog with him and repeat the gate operation into his own garden, but no. Craig, who weighs probably 8 stone and looks about 11 (he’s 18) decides he’s going to lift the Staff/Mastiff cross over the fence. Poor Craig has history of getting into trouble climbing over my fence so I wish I’d witnessed it with my own eyes, but my mum and stepdad said it was one of the funny things they’d ever seen, even at 5am.
All the time this was going on Colin was belting out instructions from his back steps with the pick of the bunch “pick it up you scrawny little C**t”. Tyson survived the ordeal but Craig win’s the whole event for his comeback to his Dad “you try and pick him up fatman, he weighs a f*****g tonne”.
I must pop round and thank them for the massive turd deposited in our garden. That’s getting shoveled over their fence under the cover of darkness later.
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Colin Empty
PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 4:40 pm

Razz That'll show him.
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Colin Empty
PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 5:02 pm

You mean Craig crapped in your garden?
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Chingers

Chingers

Posts : 577
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 48
Location : Chingford

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 5:11 pm

knecht wrote:
You mean Craig crapped in your garden?
Oh Christ, I really don't know. Maybe.
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Peggy

Peggy

Posts : 1586
Join date : 2013-03-24
Age : 23

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 8:36 pm

What a lovely introduction to Colin for your family. I expect you'll have difficulty persuading them to go out anywhere, as they won't want to miss any more escapades.

Nice to have our own Colin thread flower 
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pepsipete

pepsipete

Posts : 14772
Join date : 2011-05-11
Age : 82
Location : Ivybridge

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 8:38 pm

Everytime I see Colin mentioned I expect it to be Neil Warnock.
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mouldyoldgoat
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mouldyoldgoat

Posts : 12768
Join date : 2011-12-22
Age : 58
Location : Berkshire

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptyFri Oct 11, 2013 10:15 pm

So did I Pete! I thought someone had called for him to come back to HP!Very Happy 

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 2:54 pm

He couldn't do any worse.
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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 2:58 pm

Who? Chingers' Colin or Warnock?

Perhaps Chingers' neighbour is a footballing genius.
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Angry

Angry

Posts : 14261
Join date : 2013-08-16
Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 8:43 pm

who the feck is colin anyway?
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Czarcasm

Czarcasm

Posts : 9293
Join date : 2011-10-23

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 8:52 pm

Angry wrote:
who the feck is colin anyway?
Read the first sentence of the first paragraph of this post, then try and work it out.

As it goes, one of my neighbours is an actual Exeter fan (from Exeter) but he's such a ponsy hen-pecked nancy boy, I couldn't begin to piece together anything at all remotely interesting regarding his life and times.
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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 8:58 pm

As far as I understand it, Colin is the much maligned and misunderstood neighbour of Chingers. He has a lot to put up with. A neighbour who constantly takes pictures of his garden, ridicules his wife, children & dog and makes up stories about him.

I await stories of how Chingers makes up with Colin and apologises.
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Peggy

Peggy

Posts : 1586
Join date : 2013-03-24
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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 10:31 pm

Having seen a photo of Colin (albeit taken from behind a curtain) and followed Chingers' saga over the months (or is it years?), I'd have to say that's highly unlikely, Knecht sunny 
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Elias

Elias

Posts : 5750
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Location : brent out

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 10:36 pm

Warnock would be a disaster, no money to spend so basically we'd be f**ked!

Best advice Chingers is move if you can of course.............
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mouldyoldgoat
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mouldyoldgoat

Posts : 12768
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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 10:52 pm

Is the Chingers / Colin saga on pasoti?

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Moist_Von_Lipwig

Moist_Von_Lipwig

Posts : 1573
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Age : 107

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySat Oct 12, 2013 11:55 pm

mouldyoldgoat wrote:
Is the Chingers / Colin saga on pasoti?
Yes, "My name is Chingers Paine and I'm a nosey neigbour". "I'm a bloody nosey neighbour".
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cornysteve



Posts : 318
Join date : 2012-10-10
Location : Near the bar

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySun Oct 13, 2013 12:39 am

Lad at work today got Neil Warnocks autograph. He was suprised when I mentioned that his nickname is Colin Wanker. Who exactly do you live next to Chingers?

Steve
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Chingers

Chingers

Posts : 577
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 48
Location : Chingford

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySun Oct 13, 2013 10:36 am

Moist_Von_Lipwig wrote:
mouldyoldgoat wrote:
Is the Chingers / Colin saga on pasoti?
Yes, "My name is Chingers Paine and I'm a nosey neigbour". "I'm a bloody nosey neighbour".
He kind of forces me into being a nosey neighbour (you haven't seen me right). When he stops acting like a loon I'll stop the stalking. As for taking over as manager of Argyle. Can't see any problem with that. He's got the hair dryer bit sorted.
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Moist_Von_Lipwig

Moist_Von_Lipwig

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PostSubject: Re: Colin   Colin EmptySun Oct 13, 2013 10:47 am

Chingers wrote:
Moist_Von_Lipwig wrote:
mouldyoldgoat wrote:
Is the Chingers / Colin saga on pasoti?
Yes, "My name is Chingers Paine and I'm a nosey neigbour". "I'm a bloody nosey neighbour".
He kind of forces me into being a nosey neighbour (you haven't seen me right).  When he stops acting like a loon I'll stop the stalking.  As for taking over as manager of Argyle.  Can't see any problem with that.  He's got the hair dryer bit sorted.
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