Ryan Bertrand

Footballer is an inarticulate chav - shocker!

Following the FA's press release saying that Bertrand has left the England squad due to a sore throat, he was getting unrelentingly mocked on Twitter (#prayforbertrand, calpol jokes, etc). He responded with a foul mouthed rant explaining that he was 'cold' and had sore glands.

This just one day after the FA released a strict new code of conduct for the England players.

Oh gawd, such controversy, such a breach, such excitement no doubt in tomorrow's newspapers!

Mock Cuncher, reporting live from Twitter.

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Ryan Bertrand has now deleted his twitter.

Poor little lamb.

Charlie Wood wrote:

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Bertram Wooster?

NEW in from Twitter:

Newcastle Boss Alan Pardew wants his players to forget all talk about Wonga being their new sponsor, "just get on that pitch and give 4167%"

Mock Cuncher wrote:

NEW in from Twitter:

Newcastle Boss Alan Pardew wants his players to forget all talk about Wonga being their new sponsor, "just get on that pitch and give 4167%"

Apparently the deal Newcastle have struck with wonga.com is worth £8 million. But they'll have to pay back £24 million within 2 months.

Charlie Wood wrote:

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Is he related to Plastic at all?

(Or am I the only one who remembers him? Ca plan pour moi ... Mods - we need one of those cedilla thingies)

Peggy wrote:

Charlie Wood wrote:

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Is he related to Plastic at all?

(Or am I the only one who remembers him? Ca plan pour moi ... Mods - we need one of those cedilla thingies)

Don't worry Peggy, you're not the only one who will never see 40 again remembers Plastic Bertrand. Yer tiz:

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Andy_Symons wrote:

Peggy wrote:

Charlie Wood wrote:

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Is he related to Plastic at all?

(Or am I the only one who remembers him? Ca plan pour moi ... Mods - we need one of those cedilla thingies)

Don't worry Peggy, you're not the only one who will never see 40 again remembers Plastic Bertrand. Yer tiz:

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I still have the single.

And a great single it is!

I wonder if it's worth anything.

What an awful video. I did see this video linked on the page though

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Peggy wrote:

Charlie Wood wrote:

He's English I always had him down as some kind of existentialist French mime artist...he needs to change his name to Bertie or something suitably English.

Is he related to Plastic at all?

(Or am I the only one who remembers him? Ca plan pour moi ... Mods - we need one of those cedilla thingies)

A round of applause for the Pegster.

The female memory never fails to amaze

Chemical Ali wrote:

What an awful video. I did see this video linked on the page though

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Bugger Off CA. This video is also on the Plastic Bertrand page. One of my all time favourites. "I wanna a Dr to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well" They don't do lyrics like that anymore.

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Greenjock wrote:

Chemical Ali wrote:

What an awful video. I did see this video linked on the page though

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Bugger Off CA. This video is also on the Plastic Bertrand page. One of my all time favourites. "I wanna a Dr to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well" They don't do lyrics like that anymore.

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Oh and this 80's absolute classic too!

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Greenjock wrote:

Chemical Ali wrote:

What an awful video. I did see this video linked on the page though

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Bugger Off CA. This video is also on the Plastic Bertrand page. One of my all time favourites. "I wanna a Dr to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well" They don't do lyrics like that anymore.

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I don't think it was the lyrics that CA was impressed by....

Andy_Symons wrote:

Greenjock wrote:

Chemical Ali wrote:

What an awful video. I did see this video linked on the page though

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Bugger Off CA. This video is also on the Plastic Bertrand page. One of my all time favourites. "I wanna a Dr to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well" They don't do lyrics like that anymore.

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I don't think it was the lyrics that CA was impressed by....

Still made my ears puke though

Greenjock wrote:

......
Bugger Off CA. This video is also on the Plastic Bertrand page. One of my all time favourites. "I wanna a Dr to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well" They don't do lyrics like that anymore.

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But remember another of the lines was "I want a million of them all round my cell". Would it be worth it?

Highwayman wrote:

The female memory never fails to amaze

I won't forget that.