Ideas for a music video

I've made a hip hop record. Now, as a white 39 year old man with balding hair and little fashion sense I don't think it would be wise for me to show my face in the video.
To give you some background, the record is about me being on deathrow for a crime I committed.

I've sat in a pub with my brother and a mate and thrown some ideas about and we've come up with a few pearls but anyone got any ideas? There's a pretty sick sense of humour on here and I'm pretty open to anything. If you come up with a bit of genius I'll credit you on the video which we're hoping will be seen by at least 15 people on Youtube.

Clearly I'm bored.

Soooooo any ideas then?

Lyrics?

I think, obviously, you need some hookers.

Then your aforementioned pearls can come inter play.

Ha ha, hookers. Right grotty ones could work.

Okay so you've got something to work with here's the lyrics (names have been changed to protect the innocent).


Thank you Mommy and Daddy (The deathrow shuffle)

I got time on my hands sometimes I rhyme slow
No need to rush when you sit on death row
Not an innocent man, still it makes you wonder
Stepped up to my face I put him six feet under
Time to reflect, regret and earn respect
Forget that, OG for life. What you expect?
As a kid growing up it was all about the rep
In back streets at night learning proper intellect
Nod your head to this without a single clue
About the stuff that we did to the boys in blue
Beating, robbing, pimping and mugging
In fact please take it seriously I’m not buggin.
I’ve had a great life full of hate and sin
Top of the world, number one Kingpin
Sitting here proud as the playground baddy
Thinking thank you both, mommy and daddy.

Do the shuffle, do the deathrow shuffle
Look back, lifes gone, now here comes the muffle
Do the shuffle, yeah, do the shuffle

Do the shuffle, do the deathrow shuffle
Look back, lifes gone, now here comes the muffle
Do the shuffle, yeah, do the shuffle

About the man I killed yeah I done did it
Hit him with an axe that evil prick
Can’t get out of bed, out of breath there fatty?
Ugly old wife with her big fat batty
He’s got no respect never worked in his life
All he causes is for his kids is mental strife
Sat in his chair thinking he’s the living don
Wiped that smile of his face permanently gone
When the cops showed up I held my hand up high
And winked to John and said for Christs sake die
No one will miss him that racist fat boy neighbour
Oh come on your honour I did the world a favour
Now I’m here in my cell and I’m as happy as larry
About to troubled by my cell mate Barry
He big, he’s fat he weighs 282 (llbs)
And that’s how it no happy ending for you


Do the shuffle, do the deathrow shuffle
Look back, lifes gone, now here comes the muffle

Do the shuffle, yeah, do the shuffle

Do the shuffle, do the deathrow shuffle
Look back, lifes gone, now here comes the muffle

Do the shuffle, yeah, do the shuffle

I think you should be an amateur geologist who has an interest in polishing stones, so asks the prison mole to get him a small rock hammer to continue his hobby.

Then he should be bullied inside and raped by the prison toughies who single him out and are constantly beating him and gang raping him.

He could have been an accountant on the outside so he starts helping the prison guards file their tax returns in return for a few cold beers for his mates, and then as a favour the meanest prison guard could duff up the toughie really bad so he can't rape anymore.

Then he could ask for a poster of say Cheryl Cole for the cell wall, and to cut a long story short he has been tunnelling out bit by bit with the rock hammer for years, and covering up the hole with the poster of Cheryl, until one day he manages to escape.

When he escapes he sends a postcard to the prison mole, who should be black and have a really distinctive voice and does lots of adverts so is really well known, and they end up living by the sea happily.

Anyway I know it's a bit rough around the edges but whaddya think?

Ifs its hip hop, the lyrics don't have to reflect the video. Just have a load of scantily clad women around a swimming pool playing with beach balls. Perhaps when you do the Death row shuffle chorus you could do a scene from an old people's home with the residents racing each other with their zimmerframes in a shuffling style.

Jock, you need to send that to Hollywood. You could be on to something there.

Chemical Ali wrote:

Ifs its hip hop, the lyrics don't have to reflect the video. Just have a load of scantily clad women around a swimming pool playing with beach balls. Perhaps when you do the Death row shuffle chorus you could do a scene from an old people's home with the residents racing each other with their zimmerframes in a shuffling style.

I like the zimmerframe idea, that's going into the mix. Also the bit around a pool could work but with a little twist ie we film it in the rain around a paddling pool.

Keep em coming please.

Greenjock wrote:

I think you should be an amateur geologist who has an interest in polishing stones, so asks the prison mole to get him a small rock hammer to continue his hobby.

Then he should be bullied inside and raped by the prison toughies who single him out and are constantly beating him and gang raping him.

He could have been an accountant on the outside so he starts helping the prison guards file their tax returns in return for a few cold beers for his mates, and then as a favour the meanest prison guard could duff up the toughie really bad so he can't rape anymore.

Then he could ask for a poster of say Cheryl Cole for the cell wall, and to cut a long story short he has been tunnelling out bit by bit with the rock hammer for years, and covering up the hole with the poster of Cheryl, until one day he manages to escape.

When he escapes he sends a postcard to the prison mole, who should be black and have a really distinctive voice and does lots of adverts so is really well known, and they end up living by the sea happily.

Anyway I know it's a bit rough around the edges but whaddya think?

Jock I shaw what did there but I don't shank it's a good idea

you could allways borrow our band name,(the swearing cnuts),failing that a bit of nudeity,,,a cock pokeing out of shorts maybe?,,or record somewhere you shouldnt be recording?you have to make the front page of the local rag,,,

tcm wrote:

you could allways borrow our band name,(the swearing cnuts),failing that a bit of nudeity,,,a cock pokeing out of shorts maybe?,,or record somewhere you shouldnt be recording?you have to make the front page of the local rag,,,

Like this-

Is that whats known as French Dirty bastrad.

tcm wrote:

you could allways borrow our band name,(the swearing cnuts),failing that a bit of nudeity,,,a cock pokeing out of shorts maybe?,,or record somewhere you shouldnt be recording?you have to make the front page of the local rag,,,

The idea of recording somewhere we shouldn't is high on our list. There's plenty of places in London you can annoy people by videoing. Cheeky nuts has been done before on Angry Boys, but is still on the list.
We were thinking about trying to look hard rapping but wearing cut off denim shorts, slightly frayed and a bit of cheek showing.

Chingers wrote:

tcm wrote:

you could allways borrow our band name,(the swearing cnuts),failing that a bit of nudeity,,,a cock pokeing out of shorts maybe?,,or record somewhere you shouldnt be recording?you have to make the front page of the local rag,,,

The idea of recording somewhere we shouldn't is high on our list. There's plenty of places in London you can annoy people by videoing. Cheeky nuts has been done before on Angry Boys, but is still on the list.
We were thinking about trying to look hard rapping but wearing cut off denim shorts, slightly frayed and a bit of cheek showing.

Like it, (the frayed denim shorts showing cheek, mmmm cheeky), you could have one wearing an Red Indian Head Dress, one as a big butch builder, or and a big butch moustached cop, oh wait it's been done before, oh wtf may as well rip that off too

Oh and as for the credits I trust the spelling will be correct, it's not Sandy, Sandie, Sand, San or anything else but, Sandford_Grecian OK!!

Sandford_Grecian wrote:

Like it, (the frayed denim shorts showing cheek, mmmm cheeky), you could have one wearing an Red Indian Head Dress, one as a big butch builder, or and a big butch moustached cop, oh wait it's been done before, oh wtf may as well rip that off too

Oh and as for the credits I trust the spelling will be correct, it's not Sandy, Sandie, Sand, San or anything else but, Sandford_Grecian OK!!

Right if you're going to be silly there no point is there (what's your hourly hire rate?).

Sandford_Grecian wrote:

Chingers wrote:

Sandford_Grecian wrote:

Like it, (the frayed denim shorts showing cheek, mmmm cheeky), you could have one wearing an Red Indian Head Dress, one as a big butch builder, or and a big butch moustached cop, oh wait it's been done before, oh wtf may as well rip that off too

Oh and as for the credits I trust the spelling will be correct, it's not Sandy, Sandie, Sand, San or anything else but, Sandford_Grecian OK!!

Right if you're going to be silly there no point is there (what's your hourly hire rate?).

£100 for 1st hour, then an extra £12.75 for each subsequent hour there after, or if I'm wearing the hat, and showing my cheeky butt it comes... nurse... free

Yeah, I'll pay the money.

How about something involving hand outs of food like a soup kitchen; maybe a little ironic as you mention fat peeps a couple of times? For some reason, slow moving bus and soup kitchen cues remind me of a sort of shuffly sort of movement.

Surely suggestive sexual stuff needs to be in there too and good looking men

hippo wrote:

How about something involving hand outs of food like a soup kitchen; maybe a little ironic as you mention fat peeps a couple of times? For some reason, slow moving bus and soup kitchen cues remind me of a sort of shuffly sort of movement.

Surely suggestive sexual stuff needs to be in there too and good looking men

Well we're looking for extras..... Soup kitchen makes the list though.

I would offer my other half as he is one very sexy man, however, I'm selfish, you can't use him, we're too far away and I'd be lost without him.

hippo wrote:

I would offer my other half as he is one very sexy man, however, I'm selfish, you can't use him, we're too far away and I'd be lost without him.

Poor excuse.

This Sunday we're going to be doing our first attempt of a video so I'll keep you all posted. Whatever happens it will majorly sh1t and embarrassing.

The hat is not free this sunday, as it's on me head in Teignmouth, yes Tiverton-On-Sea aka Teignmouth, so unless you're shooting ... nurse there, you'll have to do without the multi coloured fedora, sorry

You definitely need bouncing cars full of guys in basketball tops and ho's in bikini's, some funky handshakes and high fives, and the entire contents of Elizabeth Duke and H.Samuels combined on the main characters. These items can then be sold to CASH FOR GOLD for a fraction of their true value, but you do get a nice envelope to post them in.

White boxer shorts are compulsory with jeans down to the knees. The boxers are more important than the jeans, so Primark own brand would be good.

The occasional image of a gun and a basketball game are always good, but as we're in England you could go for a baseball bat and a game of cricket going on.

A hot sunny day would be the norm in a hip-hop video, so I would go for a British version which would be light drizzle.

you must have a passing steam train imo, just so happens I'm down in Tiverton-On-Sea aka Teignmouth shooting... nurse... a passing steam train along the sea wall, it's the last Torbay Express of 2012, so you get the passing steam train & the fedora

What's with all the random nurse words?

Is this you Chingers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WZGyzz5O-U

Sorry for taking a few minutes of your lives