Seagull menace

The seagull has no taste.

Woman's an idiot.

I was walking down the street one early morning slightly worse for wear and a little clumsy on my feet. It was dark (as it tends to be at 3am). From the dark gloom, a large white shape emerged. My first instinct was that I was being attacked by a demonic ghost - it was near Mutley so that's a possibility that couldn't have been simply disregarded. It was in fact a large herring gull plummeting towards my head. It swooped, with spite and malice but I managed to duck; reflexes as sharp as a welterweight boxing champion. It circled and prepared to lunge again. I was ready this time, I was prepared to confront this foul winged beast.
As it soared toward me, I readied myself. Leaping like a frog, I extended my right arm to the sky and brought it down with force and precision that left the gull crumpled and dazed on the pavement. I turned and walked away.
That learnt him.
My advice is to punch seagulls.

Seagulls are protected, You cant harm them azzer

Incidentally here are a couple of Diseases that you could have contracted







Diseases associated with birds


Chlamydiosis

There are two, like diseases which are both influenza type viruses.

The one most commonly found is transmitted by birds such as pigeons and is known as Ornithosis. Although more like a flu-type disease, it should be noted that fatalities can occur just as with other influenza viruses.


Psittacosis

This is the rarer more serious strain being closer to atypical pneumonia. This is also associated with birds from the parrot family.


Cryptococcosis

This is a very serious illness. It begins as a lung infection but can progress to the meninges of the brain causing Meningitis.


Campylobacter

This is brought about by the contamination of food sources usually by corvids such as magpies which have been infected by carrion. This can result in extreme forms of gastroenteritis.


Salmonellosis

This is present in upwards of 90% of feral pigeons and slightly lesser percentages in the starling.


Extrinsic Allergic Alveolitis

This is more commonly known as "pigeon fancier's lung". It is a serious allergic state which can only be remedied by the removal of birds and associated matter.


Erysipelas

This is a serious wound infection, which may be brought about by the transmission of streptococcus pyrogenes that may enter minor wounds from the debris of birds’ environment.


Escherichia Coli (E-Coli)

This is contracted orally by ingesting food or water contaminated with a pathogenic strain shed by an infected person or animal. Recent research at Lancaster University has linked its spread to gulls.

You can get a licence to murder a seagull if there's a legitimate reason. You can't get a disease from punching a seagull. There were no witnesses either and I only stunned it.

you cant just murder seagulls no matter what, there are still restrictions, even if you have a Licence

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I hope there ain't no restriction on bumping off a few Canada Geese ...spoiling our parks and terrorising all other Geese,Ducks etc.

They're delicious with cider and apple gravy. Just remember to prick the skin all over or can get a bit fatty.

Dane. wrote:

you cant just murder seagulls no matter what, there are still restrictions,  even if you have a Licence

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have you just discovered google and a dictionary?
actually seagulls can be culled to keep the population of them down.
with a license as hairy pointed out.

Yeah Dean! Jethro's shown you right up. Owned. LOL

Jethro's my mate. High five Jethro o/

He is talking total shite as usual

So you can high 5 him.

Children!

They all seem rather GULLable.

a well cooked bird will ensure no disease. i prefer them spit roasted

Dane. wrote:

He is talking total shite as usual

So you can high 5 him.

uncalled for.

My brother had a problem with a seagull a few years ago. One took a dislike to him when he used to walk to and from work. It could tell it was him and used to attack him even if there were loads of people around him.

Read of a bloke who chased gulls out of his garden. One of them picked up a stone and dropped it through his greenhouse!

Mapperley, darling wrote:

a well cooked bird will ensure no disease.  i prefer them spit roasted

So do my mate and I  ....

pepsipete wrote:

Read of a bloke who chased gulls out of his garden.  One of them picked up a stone and dropped it through his greenhouse!

They do pick up stones. Many new builds have a pebble roof. And the gulls have been known to pick these up and drop them in the car park often hitting cars

I'd advise this course of action.

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I don't

they are a protected species

zyph wrote:

They all seem rather GULLable.

Gullty as charged.