Young Pet seagull

Well, not really a pet, just a guest. We found him in our garden a few days ago (fairly big grass space but with tall walls) just walking around and he has taken a liking to living here and often comes inside, he's actually a fairly tame little fellow and likes to come and bash your legs with his neck. He has had a few goes at flying but it never seems to work (although he must have flown in). We have fed him dog food and water so far, and our dog sometimes even sits outside side by side with it.

Basically, the question is, what to do?

Hide your chips!

mouldyoldgoat wrote:

Hide your chips!

Or train him to resist then take him to Wembury to test him

Call him Johnathan, and get yourself a literary agent.

You have a couple options Cobi.

It would appear that the young Gull cannot fly, a bit like his namesakes at Plainmoor, so you can either construct a pair of wings large enough to support your weight, and take him along to Smeaton's Tower to show him how it is done, whereby he flies off into the Devon sky and finds his long last family.

Or

You snap his neck in one swift movement and stick it's limp body to your bedroom window, to warn off any other Gulls that even think about squawking at stupid o'clock in the morning, and then spending the day scavenging off of the good folk of Plymouth, with their particularly evil beady eyes always on the lookout for a young child or elderly person with an ice cream or pasty in their hands, as they are less likely to be brave enough to fend off the imminent attack.

Let me know which one you choose Cobi, and twitter updates with pictures would be most welcome

Well thankyou for the 'suggestions'

Think we will leave him another few days and then decide. And yes Jock, pics will be on twitter bud.

Have you given him a name yet?

Greenjock wrote:

You snap his neck in one swift movement and stick it's limp body to your bedroom window, to warn off any other Gulls that even think about squawking at stupid o'clock in the morning, and then spending the day scavenging off of the good folk of Plymouth, with their particularly evil beady eyes always on the lookout for a young child or elderly person with an ice cream or pasty in their hands, as they are less likely to be brave enough to fend off the imminent attack.

This.

There's a swarm of the feckers nesting on the roof opposite us. 4 o'clock in the freaking morning they start; the car and van are both covered in seagull crap and you take your life in your hands even leaving the front door.

Get rid, Cobi. They're just rats with wings.

NEVER feed seagulls

We've got one in work that has snack with us everyday, he's called Eddy the Seagull because he can't stay on the roof without slipping off.

seadog wrote:

NEVER feed seagulls

NEVER EVER feed seagulls.

A few years ago my stepson and his girl were desperate to invent something to pitch on Dragons Den. I suggested a baseball cap with a horizontal wind vane mounted on top to discourage the swoopers. Up for sale in the tat shops of our coastal resorts. A sure fire winner I thought...they didn't, but did make me my own personal mock up which I haven't quite got round to road testing just yet.

They are a total pain in the ass, it's about time the things were shot out of the sky!

They seem to be getting bigger as well, the seagulls in work are bloody huge.

Like jock says ring its neck . I keep getting attacked by the bloody things when I'm cutting peoples lawns. Errrr .

itll peck your eyes out! ring its neck and have a nice sarnie, or have it with chips for the ultimate seagull irony

Poor seagull. Train it to forage for you or alternatively to attack unwanted visitors.

My favoutite aunt fed 'sammy' the seagull every morning with bacon and eggs, and fish for years.
When we moved to Plymouth and the Hoe, our chef befriended a seagull and ended up doing the same every morning.
As Kevin Kostner said, if you feed them, they will come.

That fecking seagull ate better breakfasts than me for god sake.

When working for the Local Authority a woman was given a flat on the Barbican. A couple of days later she came into the Civic Centre to complain about the noise and asking for the seagulls to be removed from the area. Sadly she was serious.

Ring the bloody things neck now. It is not your friend and will shit on you at the first opportunity.

You can kill a seagull quite easily by flicking it on the top of it's head - it has no real skull structure so the brain is only protected by skin.

Cobi, you need to just let it out and let it die. It can't get back to it's nest and now it smells of "human" and would be rejected by it's parents. It won't learn to be a seagull with you as it's new parent.

Kill it with fire... or flick it's head.

Or keep it and name it Risdale The Seagull.

And the human it smells of is just 16, so it's going to be a mixture of Lynx and sp, well you can probably guess.

Alternatively Cobi, you could build it a lovely comfy nest, and at around midnight every night creep up to the nest and go "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" Repeatedly for 4 hours.

Then when you feed it, give it a really nicely made sandwich or a pasty, and just as it starts enjoying it, swoop and snatch it out of it's mouth and run off.

Then when you fancy a dump, just plop one down on it.

I'm sure it will forget it's seagull and think it's a human in no time.