potential fv inspired songs for Alessandra

you know the twats are already throathing down south to get something down on paper for next seasons songlist. But can we do any worse?

for me there is one obvious one to that lady gaga song alejandro that i could butcher fv style

what is his name, tell me his name Alessandra
he cant score goals, he likes the girls Alessandra
he wont win games, he will have mural thou all the same Alessandra
ale ales Alessandra , ale ale Alessandra