Pensioner jailed for colostomy bag attack on Noel Edmonds

An 81 year old Pensioner has been jailed for twelve and a half years for the colostomy bag assault on TV presenter and Exeter City Chairman Noel Edmonds.
Cyril Kirtonville, of Goalless Drive, Pinhoe, denied the charge, but was convicted at Exeter Magistrates Court.
Addressing from the bench, Mr Barry Flange said the defendant "Had to pay for his beastly crime, and only a custodial sentence will satisfy a horrified public."
Mr Edmonds, was not present in court. The former Multi Coloured Swap Shop presenter had to have a polyester jumper dry cleaned, following the incident at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital in December last year.

I suppose the result was always 'in the bag' for the prosecution.

I don't think he was guilty and won't ever be able to live it down. Shit sticks.

argylepaul wrote:

An 81 year old Pensioner has been jailed for twelve and a half years for the colostomy bag assault on TV presenter and Exeter City Chairman Noel Edmonds.
Cyril Kirtonville, of Goalless Drive, Pinhoe, denied the charge, but was convicted at Exeter Magistrates Court.
Addressing from the bench, Mr Barry Flange said the defendant "Had to pay for his beastly crime, and only a custodial sentence will satisfy a horrified public."
Mr Edmonds, was not present in court. The former Multi Coloured Swap Shop presenter had to have a polyester jumper dry cleaned, following the incident at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital in December last year.

There's many factual inaccuracies in that post. Here's 2 of them.

1. Not a court in the land would have convicted him.

2. It is not a beastly crime but a perfectly acceptable response at being both unlucky enough to meet Noel Edmonds in the flesh but lucky enough to be armed with a full colostomy bag when it happened.

The only believable bit is that Noel Edmonds wears polyester jumpers.

You had me going until you got to "horrified public".