Awkward moments

I ran over a CAT today. It ran out in front of the car on my way home from playing football (TERRIBLY FYI). Grey/white thing. SLAMMED the brakes but still heard the HORRENDOUS judder of it. Stopped the car (underneath this edgy, nutty forum persona I am MORALLY SAIND), the cat was running in circles in the road, then crawled under a van where it died pretty SWIFTLY.

No collar, I knocked about 20 doors FIRMLY, the answerers of most of which were cat owners, which was awkward enough in itself, before FINALLY finding the grey/white thing's owner.

By this stage I was feeling pretty BAD anyway, then the owner immediately burst into tears and started sobbing uncontrollably for about 15 minutes whilst I stood there.

That was AWKWARD.

Bad times Mock. I hit a cat once, though I suspect it was more of an angled/glancing blow. What interests me about your post though is the running 'round in circles' bit, before ceasing to be. My cat screeched in a most unpleasant tone before jumping vertically in the air to the height of about four feet. It did this about 4 or 5 times.

I suspect I may have run over/broken the poor things paw/leg.

It ran off (awkwardly, ironically) pretty sharpish. This negated the necessity to start knocking on doors. Which was a relief.

Slagging off my ex-boss. Calling him a complete c*unt etc whilst chatting in the factory restaurant, only to find out after a couple of 'err hums' from my work colleagues, that he was sat right behind me listening to every word I said.

The company and myself went our separate ways shortly thereafter.

A few years ago I was walking back from an away game in Preston with a chatty, friendly Argyle fan who I didn't know. After about five minutes we came upon an ancient Montego that was so heroically badly parked and so full of dents it looked like it had been nicked and driven around every estate in Lancashire. I said something along the lines of "Whoever parked that thing needs a few driving lessons and a new car", then watched as the friendly Argyle fan wordlessly unlocked it, climbed in and drove off.

I did the same as you a few years ago Mock although I only witnessed the cat getting run over by somebody else, I knew who's it was so boxed it up and took it round to her door, bitch hasn't spoken to me since even though I was at pains to tell her I was the good samaritan, like her husband said "she's always been a bit wierd about the cats."
Anyway every cat you run over and kill saves the lives of about 200 small birds.

A very good point, they do a lot of harm to the small bird population, they also love shitting in kiddies sandpits. On the plus side they keep the mice at bay.

My missus has made a lovely corner bed in the front garden and the cats have shat all over it and dug up her plants, does anyone know of any decent product that keeps cats off flower beds? I've heard talk of cat pepper but others say it doesn't work.

Awkward Moment. Used to be an Olympic fencer in the office where I worked (in the Dockyard) every time I walked past he would say thrust, parry and whack me with a ruler. I espied him on Mutley Plain hid in a shop doorway, and leapt out with a shout of thrust, parry only to be confronted by a terrified total stranger.

I have one like this iggy it works a treat. It stops the cats from crapping in the border and it waters the plants for you.
Just remember not to aim it at the postman he gets upset for some reason.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

back on topic I hit a cat once it still sends a shiver down my spine thinking of that day.

pepsipete wrote:

Awkward Moment.  Used to be an Olympic fencer in the office where I worked (in the Dockyard) every time I walked past he would say thrust, parry and whack me with a ruler.  I espied him on Mutley Plain hid in a shop doorway, and leapt out with a shout of thrust, parry only to be confronted by a terrified  total stranger.

What did you have in your hand?

pepsipete wrote:

Awkward Moment.  Used to be an Olympic fencer in the office where I worked (in the Dockyard) every time I walked past he would say thrust, parry and whack me with a ruler.  I espied him on Mutley Plain hid in a shop doorway, and leapt out with a shout of thrust, parry only to be confronted by a terrified  total stranger.

Is it just me that conjurs up an image of a fella knocking up 6x6 garden panels with great haste to gold medal standard?

lawnmowerman wrote:

I have one like this iggy it works a treat. It stops the cats from crapping in the border and it waters the plants for you.
Just remember not to aim it at the postman he gets upset for some reason.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

back on topic I hit a cat once it still sends a shiver down my spine thinking of that day.

That looks just the ticket, I may see if I could rig the trigger to the twelve bore, just to make sure. Cheers.

Iggy wrote:

My missus has made a lovely corner bed in the front garden and the cats have shat all over it and dug up her plants, does anyone know of any decent product that keeps cats off flower beds? I've heard talk of cat pepper but others say it doesn't work.

A Bulldog has been known to stop that attitude by being parked adjacent to the bed.....

Iggy wrote:

lawnmowerman wrote:

I have one like this iggy it works a treat. It stops the cats from crapping in the border and it waters the plants for you.
Just remember not to aim it at the postman he gets upset for some reason.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

back on topic I hit a cat once it still sends a shiver down my spine thinking of that day.

That looks just the ticket, I may see if I could rig the trigger to the twelve bore, just to make sure. Cheers.

Umm, interesting. we have exactly the same problem with next door's cat shitting on our flower beds. That sprinkly thingy looks just the job. I suppose you could always rig-it-up to a barrle of Hydrochloric Acid, you could watch the cat melt. I don't suppose that would do the flower beds any good though? Umm, back to the drawing board.