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 No more public toilets in Central Park

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hairy j

hairy j

Posts : 639
Join date : 2014-03-05

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PostSubject: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 12:41 pm

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Don't get caught short in Central Park.

Here's the thing. The thing. You can take Molly the labrador out with your green wellies on, don't forget that thing that helps you throw a tennis ball as you cannot be bothered to actually throw a ball and don't forget to drive at least eight miles so you can walk your fifth member of the family around a park. Don't forget your phone so you can post pictures of you and your canine friend on Facebook and get likes from dog loving weirdo people who you vaguely know. Don't forget (this is massively, crucially and undeniably vital) your little bags for when Molly decides to take an enormous, toxic shit on the grass in Central Park.
When Molly has emptied her rancid bowells all over a hill on Central Park, make sure you idly wander off swinging your little turd sack by your side.
Do NOT however get caught short yourself.
Do NOT TAKE YOUR KIDS TO THE PARK - they've knocked down the old swimming pool with a toilet that's by the play park so ensure you're kids have done the toilet routine before you go and spend free quality time with the nippers. Don't give them a drink while you are there. Actually, don't go there.
DO NOT poo or wee in the park either as you'll get arrested for indecent exposure.
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Mock Cuncher

Mock Cuncher

Posts : 5189
Join date : 2011-05-12
Age : 100
Location : Kingsbridge Castles

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:16 pm

I just go in a bush.
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Mock Cuncher

Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:19 pm

And my dog's called Logan.
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hairy j

hairy j

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Join date : 2014-03-05

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:26 pm

That's the worst name for a dog I've ever heard. It's either a really shite Argyle player or an X-Man.

I think parks are for people, not dogs. They shit and you get people proudly picking that shit up and act superior to the shit and run dog owners but feckin hell, they've still let their dog shit on a park - it leaves residue. Would you pull on a pair of second hand pants with a skidder on them?

I'd like to see all dogs shot into space with a giant dog cannon.
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Mock Cuncher

Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:32 pm

I don't really own a dog.

I lied cos it's the internet and I can.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:32 pm

I'd like to see ignorant dog haters beaten to death with a huge sack of picked-up dog shit. Starting with you (the hair) clown
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hairy j

hairy j

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:38 pm

I'd like you Pers, to have to have that on your conscience.

You know, saying you want someone beaten to death will get you a 1/4 hour ban on here. Yeah. Keep poking those mods Pers. That's you Pers.

If this thread was started by some boring cnut like Zyph, you lot would all over it blaming Brent. As I had the guts to post it, you're all like, 'oh shit', no idea, I'll have to abuse him or the bigger boys might think I'm a wooly woofter.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:51 pm

Zyph's a cnut? You could get a 30 minute ban for that. I'll go and have a confab with the all empowering super human ubermods of ATD to decide your fate. Just give me a minute old bean, It takes fooking ages to climb the ivory tower to reach the palace of mod stardom. I am old you know.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:52 pm

I hate dog owners more than I hate dogs. I don't actually hate dogs.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:54 pm

knecht wrote:
I hate dog owners more than I hate dogs. I don't actually hate dogs.

I hate actually's more than dogs owners don't, I.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:55 pm

I have it on good authority that the corner of the ground where the school was going is now to be a large public convenience.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 1:55 pm

Person Of Interest wrote:
knecht wrote:
I hate dog owners more than I hate dogs. I don't actually hate dogs.

I hate actually's more than dogs owners don't, I.

Indubitably.
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hairy j

hairy j

Posts : 639
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptySat May 10, 2014 2:09 pm

This is, joking aside, pretty bad. I know, [rickler]no jokes have been made in this thread[/rickler]

You can't spend long with a four/five/six year old in the park - that's what they're for. It's no good at all.
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zyph

zyph

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptyMon May 12, 2014 4:48 pm

The question arises.....what if Looe do away with there loos....would they have to rename the place.
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Jethro

Jethro

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptyWed May 14, 2014 1:03 am

Tbh i think its karma for dog owners who don't pick up dog shit now they can tread in a human shit next time I get caught short up there.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptyWed May 14, 2014 9:06 am

I have to agree that toilets should be in a park and opened. It said it all to me when the council removed the toilets on Mutley Plain at the same time as putting all the pretty little metal sculptures on the railings at the cost of tens of thousands of pounds! We get "Ocean City" at the cost of feckin loads of money yet we can't keep toilets open whilst we crack down on urinating in public.
As for the dogs, they aren't allowed everywhere in the park, not on pitches, not on play areas and not on picnic areas, if you use the park you need a bit of tolerance for other users.
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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptyWed May 14, 2014 10:52 am

No, there is a promise to replace the toilets "in the long term", which translates to "no toilets will be built".

Brent's propaganda machine, link
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Jethro

Jethro

Posts : 6423
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Location : Dorset

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PostSubject: Re: No more public toilets in Central Park   No more public toilets in Central Park EmptyThu May 15, 2014 12:42 am

GOB wrote:
No, there is a promise to replace the toilets "in the long term", which translates to "no toilets will be built".

Brent's propaganda machine, link

may have to dump in a jiffy bag and mail it to him if i cant take a shite in the park like.
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