Brief synopsis - Vale

Still gutted, but if we play like that every week, we'll get promotion.

Effort wise, immense.

Unfortunately we have ourselves to blame, enough chances to ain 5 games.

Strong first half.

2 very sloppy conceded in the second, strangely Cole tried to save neither?

Poor penalty by Reid.

Then at the death Alessandra missed his second open goal in 2 games.

Not a great debut for Vassell at all.

Really can't believe we've lost

Great support


Cole - 5 - I'll be slated but I thought he could have done more or at least tried to do more with Vale's second half goals.

Berry - 7 - looked decent but must have got injured.

Trotman - 5 - Overall ok but dodgy moments.

Nelson - 4 - dodgy, poor reactions.

Purrington - 6 - fairly solid but a fair few poor passes.

Gurrieri - 8 - full of life and got his goal

Blizzard - 7 - a good solid display

Hourihane - 9 - MOTM, ran the game

Alessandra - 6 - overall good but marked down due to missing another absolute sitter.

Reid - 7 - strong performance but then again a very poor penalty, to the anger of the Devonport.

Vassell - 3 - perhaps I'm being a little harsh but looked weak and disinterested, messed up a good chance.


Blanchard - 7 - actually a good solid half at RB

Thomas - 7 - I was impressed, lively and skilful.

Aim
To show how dim the use of the word 'synopsis' is on a football forum.

Equipment
One Foreum. One Foreum Post. Six underlines. Six boldenings of text. One righteous and very just cause.

Method
Spend circa two minutes writing the most pretentious fookin' post in the history of the internet. Only to be usurped by the topic in which I am replying to 'mit gusto' (as they say in Forechtenburg).

Hypothesis
If 'Pasties and Cider' and 'Pitbull' use the word with no hint of ironing, then it's clearly a practice to be thoroughly frowned upon.

Results
As uge they speak for themselves fore fookin shore.

Conclusion
"Synopsis" is such a fookin pretentious-as-fook word. I'm not particularly for the anti-intellectualism that can occage be prevo on here, but Fore COL we're not fookin doing a GCSE science test. Fookin "brief synopsis" is a practice that shall from hence foreth be banished to the land of P S TI, and left there in our fight against the unseen nest of vipers. On the AYtd we'll keep match chat on the match chat thread (sponsored by fookin' R Blight Ov coarse) and never be insulted by this pseudo-sophisticated dimwittery.

I was just gonna write that.

Mock Cuncher wrote:

Conclusion
"Synopsis" is such a fookin pretentious-as-fook word. I'm not particularly for the anti-intellectualism that can occage be prevo on here, but Fore COL we're not fookin doing a GCSE science test. Fookin "brief synopsis" is a practice that shall from hence foreth be banished to the land of P :star:S :star:TI, and left there in our fight against the unseen nest of vipers. On the AYtd we'll keep match chat on the match chat thread (sponsored by fookin' R Blight Ov coarse) and never be insulted by this pseudo-sophisticated dimwittery.

1) In science they use 'Abstract' rather than 'Synopsis'
2) 'Brief Synopsis' is a tautological phrase (like 'quick sprint') - a synopsis is, by definition, brief.
3) With reference to 2) there is the added irony that the synopses posted on here and Pasoti are often not brief.
4) I always preferred the topics to be labelled 'Just Back' anyway.

Its times like this that i fank fok that i had a sec mod education.

You had an education, GOBBERS?

I am pretty shore that we used "Synopsis" in our science practical write ups. Probably incorrectly but then old Nobby Clark was always more interested in making shore as fook that people's shirts were tucked in, etc.

I must say although he is a moderator of dubious judgement (and ethics), PL2 did the best 'synopses' when he invented them.

Each of his points was short, punchy and to the point. This player played well, this player pulled the strings, this one looked clinical, and the defensive unit played well. You could read it in two minutes and have a full picture of the tactics and ebb and flow of the game, the ref, and all of the major incidents.

Pasties and Cider ruined them - I can't stand reading them now. Each point is a jumble of different points, and they are anything but brief. They are sanctimonious and polluted with his own personal opinion of players and the game of football. Just my view though.

It's a shame he wrestled responsibility for them from PL2 as the latter did them far better.

Fair play to Cobi though for putting the effort in. When Gordon Sparks can't even separate 6' 2" Dominic Blizzard from 5' 9" Conor Hourihane, it's nice for the exile fans to have some sense of what's going on.

Pitbull wrote:

Still gutted, but if we play like that every week, we'll get promotion.

Effort wise, immense.

Unfortunately we have ourselves to blame, enough chances to ain 5 games.

Strong first half.

2 very sloppy conceded in the second, strangely Cole tried to save neither?

Poor penalty by Reid.

Then at the death Alessandra missed his second open goal in 2 games.

Not a great debut for Vassell at all.

Really can't believe we've lost

Great support


Cole - 5 - I'll be slated but I thought he could have done more or at least tried to do more with Vale's second half goals.

Berry - 7 - looked decent but must have got injured.

Trotman - 5 - Overall ok but dodgy moments.

Nelson - 4 - dodgy, poor reactions.

Purrington - 6 - fairly solid but a fair few poor passes.

Gurrieri - 8 - full of life and got his goal

Blizzard - 7 - a good solid display

Hourihane - 9 - MOTM, ran the game

Alessandra - 6 - overall good but marked down due to missing another absolute sitter.

Reid - 7 - strong performance but then again a very poor penalty, to the anger of the Devonport.

Vassell - 3 - perhaps I'm being a little harsh but looked weak and disinterested, messed up a good chance.


Blanchard - 7 - actually a good solid half at RB

Thomas - 7 - I was impressed, lively and skilful.

So despite us being amazing and certs for promotion you give the players an average of 6????

Can I get the two mins it took me to read that back

ejh wrote:

I must say although he is a moderator of dubious judgement (and ethics), PL2 did the best 'synopses' when he invented them.

Each of his points was short, punchy and to the point. This player played well, this player pulled the strings, this one looked clinical, and the defensive unit played well. You could read it in two minutes and have a full picture of the tactics and ebb and flow of the game, the ref, and all of the major incidents.

Pasties and Cider ruined them - I can't stand reading them now. Each point is a jumble of different points, and they are anything but brief. They are sanctimonious and polluted with his own personal opinion of players and the game of football. Just my view though.

It's a shame he wrestled responsibility for them from PL2 as the latter did them far better.

Fair play to Cobi though for putting the effort in. When Gordon Sparks can't even separate 6' 2" Dominic Blizzard from 5' 9" Conor Hourihane, it's nice for the exile fans to have some sense of what's going on.

I agree to a point, but PL2's synopsis' were also just his personal take on how the game panned out. Maybe Posty had a better view of the game from his Harrier Jump Jet hovering over the centre circle, though.   

Czarcasm wrote:

ejh wrote:

I must say although he is a moderator of dubious judgement (and ethics), PL2 did the best 'synopses' when he invented them.

Each of his points was short, punchy and to the point. This player played well, this player pulled the strings, this one looked clinical, and the defensive unit played well. You could read it in two minutes and have a full picture of the tactics and ebb and flow of the game, the ref, and all of the major incidents.

Pasties and Cider ruined them - I can't stand reading them now. Each point is a jumble of different points, and they are anything but brief. They are sanctimonious and polluted with his own personal opinion of players and the game of football. Just my view though.

It's a shame he wrestled responsibility for them from PL2 as the latter did them far better.

Fair play to Cobi though for putting the effort in. When Gordon Sparks can't even separate 6' 2" Dominic Blizzard from 5' 9" Conor Hourihane, it's nice for the exile fans to have some sense of what's going on.

I agree to a point, but PL2's synopsis' were also just his personal take on how the game panned out. Maybe Posty had a better view of the game from his Harrier Jump Jet hovering over the centre circle, though.   

A typical Pasties and Cider point might be that Alessandra didn't play well because as a right footer he should be cutting inside more often. You know, judging Alessandra's decision making by what he thinks he ought to be doing, as if Lewis Alessandra knew less about the game than him. Now regardless of whether Alessandra beat a defender and/or put a good cross in, he is marked down because he didn't do what this fan sitting in the stands expected him to do with the ball. And for all we know, Sheridan might be telling him to drift wide, exploit the flanks and stretch the slower side backs with dribbles.

Then when you get a third rate scouting report shoehorned in with a match report, it makes heavy reading for the casual reader. Same goes for Blizzard being put down as average 'because he sat too deep' or didn't press when they were here or there. It's not the role of the fans to decide what our tactics are and who is not doing them. Just judge the players and describe what was done well or poorly - shots, tackles, passes, possession, ball retention, shape - and ffs, don't assume what their individual tactical instructions would have been before the game and judge their performance by those assumptions.

Incidentally when Steve Bruce left Manchester United, Alex Ferguson gave him the present of the first scout report Manchester United had kept on him, from a time Bruce was playing third tier football for Gillingham.

The report began "Bright sunny day... Bruce picked up a facial injury and moved into midfield, where he can’t play... He is weak, no left foot, one-paced..."

"In my opinion, the Third Division is his level... he will make a decent living at this standard... but not good enough for Manchester United"

A year after the scouting report, Ferguson found it in his office when he took over in 1986. Another year later he ignored it to sign Bruce for £800,000 from Norwich, where he made over 300 appearances and scored 51 goals.

A very brief "synopsis" - we sodding well beat ourselves simple as, but hey lets move on we played really well with great spirit and there is another game waiting on Saturday.  

I always thought synopsis was something you got from dirty woman that made your knob weep and was treated with antibiotics.

Highwayman wrote:

I always thought synopsis was something you got from dirty woman that made your knob weep and was treated with antibiotics.

I think cobi's caught a dose of synopsis off pedlar! 

Lets call it a summary, synopsis sounds like the other place

Czarcasm wrote:

ejh wrote:

I must say although he is a moderator of dubious judgement (and ethics), PL2 did the best 'synopses' when he invented them.

Each of his points was short, punchy and to the point. This player played well, this player pulled the strings, this one looked clinical, and the defensive unit played well. You could read it in two minutes and have a full picture of the tactics and ebb and flow of the game, the ref, and all of the major incidents.

Pasties and Cider ruined them - I can't stand reading them now. Each point is a jumble of different points, and they are anything but brief. They are sanctimonious and polluted with his own personal opinion of players and the game of football. Just my view though.

It's a shame he wrestled responsibility for them from PL2 as the latter did them far better.

Fair play to Cobi though for putting the effort in. When Gordon Sparks can't even separate 6' 2" Dominic Blizzard from 5' 9" Conor Hourihane, it's nice for the exile fans to have some sense of what's going on.

I agree to a point, but PL2's synopsis' were also just his personal take on how the game panned out. Maybe Posty had a better view of the game from his Harrier Jump Jet hovering over the centre circle, though.   

It was a fuucking spaceship, alright, FFS.