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Mock Cuncher

Mock Cuncher


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PostSubject: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyThu Aug 04, 2011 8:37 pm

Chaps, I was walking the hounds shortly behind some belligerent and now dead foxes across the estates, when I stopped for a quiet breather. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a sheet of white paper, nailed upon the finest English oak in the county and fluttering the evening's breeze. After further inspection I thought to myself "Mockers, there are fellows on ATD who need to see this calling lest they miss out on the fun!


[
Quote :
Rouse yourselves, Englishmen.

The resting season is over. Leave your womenfolk by the hearth, for it is time to joust once again. To our west sits a band of dark, belligerent trolls. They offer us lip from beyond the safety of Offa's dyke. These poor Welshmen, they talk so well but fight so weakly. Such strut, such pomp, such boasting - and such measly returns! Remember, Saxons, their singing voices are so marvellous because their balls are so small.

There is but one boss in these isles. But one boss, I say. And the boss goes by the name of JOHN BULL. Yes, John Bull, I say. And when John Bull spots a cheeky Welshman, he does not humour him or parley with him or invite him for tea. Men of Saxony, I trust that we shall not be found wanting.

God Save The Queen!


What say you, squires! Surely this is a formality; two English victories before we deploy our beef to quell the unrest in the Colonies!
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Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyThu Aug 04, 2011 8:41 pm

It wont let me fix my message formatting errors...

:-/

The edit button justs cuts to a display error screen.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyThu Aug 04, 2011 8:45 pm

I just can't get my head around Rugby Union and all that tight lycra .. it's all a bit too homo erotic and boat race for me.

Give me torn cotton, and a good old Cornish boot.... laces optional.
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Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyMon Aug 29, 2011 10:39 am

So the squad is announced! After drubbing Wales in the first game, England's tactical plans went out the window at the Millenium (from what I remember, I had to drink copious amounts of cider afterwards to get my mind off the taunting welsh), but they stormed back with a biffing of the potato negros in Ireland on Saturday!

Here is a photo of the chaps in Wales...where they were superior in every way except for forgetting the basic principles of kicking points early to release the pressure later on.

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Englands Squad

Forwards: (17)

Props: Dan Cole (Leicester, Age 24, 17 caps), Alex Corbisiero (London Irish, 22, 6), Andrew Sheridan (Sale, 31, 38), Matt Stevens (Saracens, 28, 34), David Wilson (Bath, 26, 18).

Hookers: Dylan Hartley (Northampton, 25, 29), Lee Mears (Bath, 32, 37), Steve Thompson (Wasps, 33, 67).

Locks: Louis Deacon (Leicester, 30, 24), Courtney Lawes (Northampton, 22, 9), Tom Palmer (Stade Francais, 32, 27), Simon Shaw (unattached, 37, 67).

Back row: Tom Croft (Leicester, 25, 25), Nick Easter (Harlequins, 33, 44), James Haskell (Ricoh Black Rams, 26, 36), Lewis Moody (Bath, 33, 67), Tom Wood (Northampton, 24, 7).

Backs: (13)

Full-backs/wings: Delon Armitage (London Irish, 27, 20), Ben Foden (Northampton, 26, 16), Chris Ashton (Northampton, 24, 12), Mark Cueto (Sale, 31, 52).

Centres: Matt Banahan (Bath, 24, 13), Shontayne Hape (London Irish, 30, 12), Mike Tindall (Gloucester, 32, 71), Manu Tuilagi (Leicester, 20, 1).

Fly-halves: Toby Flood (Leicester, 26, 41), Jonny Wilkinson (Toulon, 32, 86).

Scrum-halves: Joe Simpson (Wasps, 23, 0), Richard Wigglesworth (Saracens, 28, 7), Ben Youngs (Leicester, 21, 12).

No Flutey which means an injury or resting of Tindall or Tuilagi requires either the hapless Hape or HMS Banahan to play at centre. Otherwise a squad which has enough biff to frighten even the SH teams on its day. Argentina will be a tricky but necessary game in the pool to win, we need to avoid the All Blacks in the quarters!
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyMon Aug 29, 2011 1:36 pm

I don't see Argentina as the same force they were 4 years ago. I think it will be a dull game but I don't see us having too many problems. The key game will be the sweaties as they may well have to win it to qualify for their thrashing in the quarters. If we get through as group winners we should meet up with the French in the quarters and the Aussies in the semi. A game against the French could go either way but a match against the convict colony would be really interesting. They have choked against us on the last 3 WC matches against us and they could be playing for a dream final against NZ. I think they are a better team then us but the pressure on them would be intense.
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Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyMon Aug 29, 2011 2:16 pm

Not sure I'd write off the Argentinians so readily. Come WC time is when they do become a force as it is the only time they get their players together for any decent length of time. I think if they can get in a position to come up against the French in the quarters (by either beating England or relying on France to topple the ABs) then history suggests they'll have every chance of another semi-final spot as their record against the Frogs is more than decent. I don't suspect that their attritional gameplan is particularly aided by the rule tweaks in the last year or two mind, so England should be favourites to beat them.

Australia are the one 3N team I'd fancy England against so a SF game against them would be a pretty welcome scenario I think.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 10, 2011 11:03 am

F me, with 13 minutes remaining England take the lead for the first time in the game but Argentina are within a point.

Shocked
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pepsipete

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 10, 2011 12:48 pm

Narrow, fortunate win, will need to improve greatly to get beyond the group stage.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 7:14 pm

An interesting first weekend of matches. England were pretty poor but they were clueless against the referee. Argentina were better then I expected and I think they will push Scotland close. I wasn't impressed by New Zealand and I think a good fly half will punish them. South Africa didn't look very good and I wasn't very impressed by the French. Ireland look like an accident waiting to happen but I think Wales might have a WC to remember. I didn't see the Scotland match but if I remember correctly they are not very good at sport.

I think it could be a very open WC this year.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 11, 2011 10:15 pm

Australia look good, they're up there as joint favourites for me. Off the back of the Tri-Nations win over the ABs, they swept aside Italy majestically and with ease - a nation against whom England have made a habit of labouring to uninspiring victories against and a side who recently scalped the French.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyTue Sep 13, 2011 9:08 am

Mock Cuncher wrote:
Australia look good, they're up there as joint favourites for me. Off the back of the Tri-Nations win over the ABs, they swept aside Italy majestically and with ease - a nation against whom England have made a habit of labouring to uninspiring victories against and a side who recently scalped the French.

I didn't see the Aussie game but I agree with you that they are capable of winning it. And they would love to do it in New Zealand. The game with Ireland on Saturday should be a cracker.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 17, 2011 11:24 am

Fantastic performance by Ireland and a well deserved win. Australia have a great set of backs but up front they are very weak.

This makes the potential quarterfinals very interesting - Ire/Wales will play the winner of Eng/Fra in the semi (if results go to plan). On the other side of the draw the Aussies have to play SA for the right to play NZ/Arg (or Sco) in the semi's.
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Charlie Wood

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 17, 2011 11:44 am

The Aussies have long been my punt for this tournament and after that inspired Irish performance I think they may well prefer facing their more familiar opponents in the later stages.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 17, 2011 3:47 pm

A great performance from the Irish forwards, brilliant .... and surprisingly fitter than the Aussies. Great support too.

Has whetted my appetite for a couple of Pirate games coming up shortly.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 18, 2011 9:35 am

England brush past Georgia, after the Argie game this group was only ever going to be a formality, surely? Barring the usual Scottish sweatfest where they see the yeoman donning the Rose and instinctively find reserves of anger and passion they're simply incapable of against any other opposition.

At this stage it has built up nicely for the winners of England - France to face Ireland or Wales in the semis...

I just hope we don't have to face the All Blacks in the next round, if it's France then I can see another final...
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 18, 2011 9:54 am

Mock Cuncher wrote:
England brush past Georgia, after the Argie game this group was only ever going to be a formality, surely? Barring the usual Scottish sweatfest where they see the yeoman donning the Rose and instinctively find reserves of anger and passion they're simply incapable of against any other opposition.

At this stage it has built up nicely for the winners of England - France to face Ireland or Wales in the semis...

I just hope we don't have to face the All Blacks in the next round, if it's France then I can see another final...

The penalty count against England is worrying though.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 18, 2011 10:25 am

penzancepirate wrote:
A great performance from the Irish forwards, brilliant .... and surprisingly fitter than the Aussies. Great support too.

Has whetted my appetite for a couple of Pirate games coming up shortly.

That's the shock of the tournament so far. After the 6 Nations I thought the Irish were a lost cause, tis even a funnier old game then soccer!

I hope England are still not firing on all cylinders or is it just that suddenly many countries are producing better players and better teams? Not complaining though, at least we're getting the points and the performance against Georgia was a big improvement. You're right Frank, we need to be a bit concerned at the penalties, we panic too much.

So far for me, I see the Welsh as the best performers but this cup seems wide open for the taking.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySun Sep 18, 2011 10:46 am

The Canadians beating Tonga and now in touch of France midway through the second half, 16-22. A couple of Albion chaps play for Canada, if I remember correctly.

The breakdown for England is a real issue. We've got the physicality to be great there but instead of fronting up we seem to continually try to test the limits of the referee instead.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyFri Sep 23, 2011 9:14 am

If England can get their act together and stop tossing dwarves and conceding penalties I think they have a real chance in this tournament. If I may bore you with my theories for a moment.......

I suspect the bottom half of the quarter final draw will be this:

NZ V Arg - A comfortable win for the Kiwis but the Argies will test them up front. I am unimpressed by New Zealands hybrid game of league/union and I think the way to beat them is via the set pieces. I don't think the Argies will do it, but I think they may well show the others the way to do it.

SA V Aus - I have been really impressed with South Africa so far. They seem to be coming into form at just the right time. The Aussies can beat them in the backs but Ireland showed everyone how weak they are up front. I think SA will keep it tight and beat them up.

That gives a semi final of NZ V SA. This could be a cracker of a game. The pressure on NZ will be unbearable as an "easy" opponent awaits in the final. And if SA can suffocate them up front I can see them doing it.

I think the top half of the draw will look like this:

Ire V Wal - This could be too close to call. Ireland are the better team but both sides will fancy their chances of winning this one and then winning the semi. Neither team has any history in the WC and whoever copes with this distraction the better should prevail. The key for the winner is whether or not they treat this match as their cup final. If they do then they wont win the semi. I think Ireland will just about hold it together.

Eng V Fra - The cheese eating surrender monkeys have a real issue with England in the WC. Its the same as England v Germany at penalties in football. Who knows what frog team will turn up, Lievremont certainly doesn't seem to know. But I think that if France win they will treat it as a massive win, but I think England will just see it as another match. I think English cool heads will prevail.

Semi Final - Eng V Ire. This is where English experience will prevail. I don't think there is much between the teams, but I think Ireland will have peaked the week before.

So that gives a final of South Africa V England. No doubt it will be a try fest!





* Being a mod has certain perks and I reserve the right to change this post as the tournament progresses to make me look good.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptyFri Sep 23, 2011 10:09 am

I haven’t seen a team that anyone needs to be afraid of yet.

England is still not firing on all cylinders. They’re probably still sobering up but those that criticise and don’t understand the game will never understand that!

The All Blacks seem to be living off past glories.

Oz have yet to get off the plane.

The frogs aren’t running, they’re hopping.

Scotland doesn’t do sport unless it’s curling.

The “expecting” performing teams so far are the Irish, Welsh and S Africans. That said, it nearly always comes down to the teams that start off slow and it’s still early days, anything can and probably will happen yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 24, 2011 8:45 am

That was better!
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Mock Cuncher

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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 24, 2011 8:57 am

It was a comprehensive argument against England playing Tier Two nations more regularly.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 24, 2011 9:18 am

The next match will be interesting, NZ v France
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 24, 2011 10:29 am

Quite a biffing the frogs have been given in the first half.
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PostSubject: Re: Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups   Rugby World Cup Warm-Ups EmptySat Sep 24, 2011 1:27 pm

I didn't see anything from the frogs that should concern England too much in the next round (assuming we both get there). New Zealand were good but I think they are an accident waiting to happen.

Its a real shame that the Fiji/Samoa game is on at 3am tomorrow morning. I imagine that will be brutal.
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