Jokes

Posts : 109 Join date : 2018-05-16

I'm on call so ive been reading some of the best jokes from the Edinbrugh Festival and my favourites were "A Tory Education Minister goes into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says Teachers OK? and the minister says "Does it look like I give shit" but definitely maybe my favourite was "I got a Blur alarm clock for my Birthday so I wake up to Parklife every morning except Wednesdays when I get rudely interupted by the dustmen"

Posts : 2796 Join date : 2017-09-09

I like the teachers one. Very Happy

Posts : 7978 Join date : 2011-10-23

Big Robby wrote:: I'm on call so ive been reading some of the best jokes from the Edinbrugh Festival and my favourites were "A Tory Education Minister goes into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says Teachers OK? and the minister says "Does it look like I give shit" but definitely maybe my favourite was "I got a Blur alarm clock for my Birthday so I wake up to Parklife every morning except Wednesdays when I get rudely interupted by the dustmen"

I’m havin that 2nd one. flower

Posts : 109 Join date : 2018-05-16

"Wheres the best place in London to buy a burqa" Maida Vale

Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 16, 2018 4:03 pm

Out cycling yesterday and came across a bloke throwing blue bottles over a wall. I asked him what he was doing....... Fly tipping.

Posts : 109 Join date : 2018-05-16

I rang my Nan because I had a dead bee in my sink and didn't know what to do with it. She said "Scoop it out with a spoon and flush it down the toilet" so I said "OK but what do I do with the bee?"

Posts : 109 Join date : 2018-05-16

My wife shouted at me earlier "Will you stop singing Oasis songs" "I said Maybe"

Posts : 2285 Join date : 2012-01-05

(Edinburgh festival) ''I don't like the new pound coin - but then I don't like change anyway''

Posts : 2943 Join date : 2015-07-08

Czarcasm wrote:

Big Robby wrote:: I'm on call so ive been reading some of the best jokes from the Edinbrugh Festival and my favourites were "A Tory Education Minister goes into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says Teachers OK? and the minister says "Does it look like I give shit" but definitely maybe my favourite was "I got a Blur alarm clock for my Birthday so I wake up to Parklife every morning except Wednesdays when I get rudely interupted by the dustmen"

I’m havin that 2nd one. flower

raised a smile at both of em Very Happy

Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 17, 2018 9:18 am

Big Robby wrote:: I'm on call so ive been reading some of the best jokes from the Edinbrugh Festival and my favourites were "A Tory Education Minister goes into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says Teachers OK? and the minister says "Does it look like I give shit" but definitely maybe my favourite was "I got a Blur alarm clock for my Birthday so I wake up to Parklife every morning except Wednesdays when I get rudely interupted by the dustmen"

Funny but at the same time Slightly depressing baring in mind that Parklife was released 24 years ago. I'm amazed just typing that.

I liked this ‘Never Apologise! Never Explain!’. Sorry, that’s my motto.